How can I become better in bed? What are the real secrets to pleasing my partner between the sheets? Is there any way to tell if I'm doing something wrong WITHOUT needing to ask?
And what about all of those countless blog posts, articles and product pitches that PROMISE to make me a super hero in the sack?
Do they work?
ARE there actually any secret strategies for sensational sex that a woman WANTS me to know, and if there is, how do I discover them?
Any of these questions sound familiar? If they do, you are not alone.
If you are anything like the thousands of men who enjoy our articles and blog posts each and every day, the truth is... your ARE concerned about your skill in the sack.
But don't worry... so TOO is she! Believe it or not, women are equally as self-conscious, and often just as insecure about what pleases a man, as you are about giving her the sex of a lifetime as well. This is especially important if you're a little bit serious and WANT the relationship to last.
Here are a few very simple do's and "don't do's" for optimal sex from a woman's perspective.
The best part? Even if you don't feel 100% confident in giving her what she wants, the likelihood is, if you follow the simple road map below, you'll have a very happy woman on your hands anyway!
- DO spend at least TWICE as much time on foreplay, as you do on intercourse. Sexual statistics, and surveys show that the average woman needs about 3 times MORE sexual stimulation than a man to climax. If you double the amount of time your focus on foreplay before actual sex, the likelihood of her being able to orgasm DURING sex goes up exponentially.
- Do work on improving your stamina and staying power if you are concerned about her ability to orgasm. Again, the BIGGEST complaint women have about intercourse? It ends too quickly! Most men last 5 minutes or less during actual sex, and unfortunately, the way our bodies are built, a woman simply can't usually achieve climax in that short of a time, whereas men, obviously can.
- DON'T assume your current girl likes the same things as your previous partner did. Why? Because unless you ask, you have no idea what her sexual sensitivities may be, or even what taboos may turn her totally OFF! Remember, the same things may have been totally cool with someone else may not be cool with her.
- DON'T continuously ask a woman if you are doing it right, or if she is turned on, or worse... if you are as good as someone else she has been with. Without question, that is the BIGGEST "no-no" in the book!
As a matter of fact, most women admit that they learn to fake orgasm for that specific reason... to overcome the annoying questions that many men ask about their performance, especially when's she's not even close to climax.
DO focus on good communication, and setting the scene both before sex, and after. Women are far more likely to judge good sex on the totality of the experience, and that includes things that most men don't consider all that important.
Trust me, she DOES, and will notice the small details both before and after the erotic experience is over.
The bottom line? It's not rocket science. She wants to please... and BE pleased as well.
Follow as much as the above advice as you can, and watch her enjoyment of sex, and of YOU go through the roof, I promise!
Here's a fun fact: Having sex 3 times a week cuts your chances of experiencing a heart attack in half. Yes, that's right - in half! Now that I've got your attention on the benefits of sex let's look at 9 reasons you need to get your partner into the sack more often:
Instant Stress Relief: Feeling annoyed because of something that happened during the day? Give those anxious thoughts a break as you release natural oxytocin into your brain, which will balance your body out.
You Da Man! Or Woman! Pleasing your partner isn't the only benefit after the big O, the confidence gained after sex snowballs into other parts of your life, soon people will be commenting on what seems different about you.
Cancer Prevention: The Journal of American Medical Association reports that the more a guy ejaculates, the less likely he is to develop prostate cancer. Can you say Double Bonus!
Stop The Flu: Immunoglobulin is an antibody that helps combat diseases and helps to prevent colds and flus. Turn your sick days into sex days by upping your levels of this antibody by increasing your sexy time.
The Solution To Achieving That Beach Body You Always Wanted? Well, not quite BUT sex is definitely a form of cardio, and can eliminate up to 250 calorie in one romp (or more if well, you know). Not only that but your abs, back, butt, thighs will be OK that you skipped that spin class and stayed in bed instead.
Age Slower And Live Longer: Time to skip those Botox appointments and have more sex because yes it really does slow the aging process. Sex has a positive effect on EVERY organ in your body and if your partner for some reason 'isn't interested' at the moment, you can always tell them 'Dennis told me I'd live longer' - works every time.
No More Pain: Most cardiovascular exercises cause release of endorphins, but sex is just plain more fun than a treadmill. This natural pain fighter gives us a sense of euphoria that can last many hours afterwards. This kind of pain killing endorphin release is known to be the best possible (as well as legal) way of achieving a natural high without the cost of treatments such as acupuncture, massage, and hydrotherapy.
Sex Heals: Whether it's a relationship that needs to heal, cells needing regeneration or wounds that need healing, sex is the answer for faster healing. Many studies have shown that regular romping (did I really say romping) kick starts the oxytocin in the body during the big O, and this speeds up the healing process.
Forget And Improve Overall Happiness: Deep down we all want to experience more happiness and forget about that lingering credit card bill or any relationship troubles we might have. Sex helps you forget your troubles, gives your intimacy a lift and increases your imagination. Funny enough, it's proven that regular sexy time provided couples the same levels of happiness as couples that earn over $100,000 per year, now there's something to brag about.